Best Entries

2004-06-07T23:52:00.000-07:00

This made me laugh because its SOOO true!

Laur

Monday,June 07, 2004

just wait till tomorrow.

it'll be HUGE.

-Lauren

EDIT:

It's sad that I feel obligated to write a post everyday and therefore end up writing random incoherent sentences.

oh well.

2004-05-15T19:29:00.000-07:00

Gurg

Wednesday, May 12

Extra Credit Assignment!

Find out where my sandals disappeared to last night and win a flan!

2004-05-04T08:35:00.000-07:00

Trevor

Basically any of his photo essays...I love them all! Go to his site and look at the sidebar. My favorite is the Winter Break one, but all of them are pretty good.

2004-04-16T12:02:00.000-07:00

This isn't an entry, however it was a funny email...here it is:

9Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone ! asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass?

2004-04-12T09:30:00.000-07:00

There was so much to love about this entry, but it was so long I only put my favorite part: Things I would like to do to my printer...Enjoy

Mike
Saturday, March 10, 2004

Things I would like to do to my printer:
Smash it to bits
Leave it in my car so it melts
Give it to curious children to take apart
Damn it to hell
Run it over with my car
Light it on fire
Use a Louisville Slugger on it, no... wait, that would be a waste of a Louisville slugger. I’ll try a seven-iron instead.
Throw it in my neighbors yard(don’t ask why)
Sell it to a pawn shop
Throw it off the top of my roof and then urinate on it.
Donate it to the oh-so-kind librarians at Mountain Pointe High School
Walk up to one of the school jocks and whisper in their ear: “Hey that printer just called you a faggot!”
Punt kick onto the freeway
Introduce it to my friend Christopher Walken
Bury it in the center of the earth
What I would give to have a new printer:
Maybe 50 bucks or so

2004-04-11T13:41:00.000-07:00

Gurg
Saturday, March 10, 2004

excerpt from original post:

My father tried talking to me while I was sitting and typing. He wasn't very successful. He had noticed that I hadn't really been getting up and going to school this week and asked me why. I didn't answer him, which is what I do whenever I don't want to talk. (It is one of my more annoying traits.)

He watched me work in silence. I forgot he was there until he spoke again.

"You need to read the Bible," he said as he stood up to leave the room. "It says that you do not light a lamp and then place it inside the cupboard. You do not light a candle only to put it under the table. When something gives light, you must place it somewhere high so that it may cast light for others."

"Some of us like the dark," I muttered at as I continued typing.

DC
November 11, 2002

People have fucked-up tastes in things, of that there is no doubt and even before the Internet we were relatively sure of it.But only on the Internet can their fucked-up taste in things steer them your way without you even intending it.

Case in point: sitemeter tells me that tonight someone found my site after searching on Google for those two magical words that always set young hearts aflutter:

Rat dicks

I sincerely hope, anonymous search-engine journeyman, that you found here what the rest of the world was remiss in providing you, that is to say, buckets and buckets of rodent cock-and-balls. And you haven't, I can't help feeling, that in some small way (almost as small as, oh, I don't know, a mouse's peeny) that I have failed.

Actual message left on our machine, 11:05 am today:
Uh, hello, Kay, this is Richard just wanted to let you know I'm looking forward to our dinner together tomorrow evening, uh, I think we made it for five o'clock, didn't we? Anyway, letting you know that I'm conforming our get-together, and really looking forward to it. Anybody that's five foot three a hundred and eight pounds got to have something going for them, heh. So anyway, god bless, you have a great day, and see you tomorrow evening at 'round five o'clock, okay? Buh-bye.

Unless Richard, who cannot dial a phone number correctly and titters creepily, and the guy who logs on in search of rat dick, unless these guys are the same person, that will be exactly two too many weird fucking people in the world.

2004-04-10T23:50:00.000-07:00

Justin
Saturday, April 10, 2004

When given the world, man will covet the world.
When given love, man will cherish it forver...

So many things that I want to say, but I can't
So many thoughts on my mind. Speak? I shan't
Feelings within, there to stay
I'll tell you then, another day
When all the fear of rejection has faded
Although my motives will be outdated
My burden will be lifted
Weight of the world has shifted
Knowing that I loved you
Perhaps you loved me too
It won't matter then
We won't meet again
As easily as my feelings appear here
Much harder it will be for them to disappear
For now I will endure the strife
Of your being the center of my life
Age is the barrier of the mass
One I cannot surpass
With strength of arms
Nor outlandish charms
Many nights of wasted thought
For the outcome to be naught
Standing alone looking at the mountains
While you bathe in beauties fountains
Living alone in child-like shyness
Full of sorrow and dryness
Staring off into space
Seeing only your face
Collapsing to the earth
Filled with the greatest mirth

I interupt this crappy poem to apologize for the rhyming craptasticalness.... everntually I'll do something different....

The End

Friday, April 9, 2004

Gun to his head, finger on the trigger
thinking constantly, obstacles getting bigger
frantic thought, hopeless doubt
One who loves, loves without
One his knees, praying for love
Seeking help, from the lord above
"Give me strength," he cries out
"Let her love me," in a stiffled shout
Collapses back, to the earth below
braizen scar, the only wound he will show
broken on the inside, shattered within
fighting this battle, he longs to win
Glimmer of hope, the slightest chance
it is time, it is his turn to dance
he does his rounds, they end in vain
heart in pieces, he tries again
without a fear, he steps up to try
the mighty fury, test of the sky
without shame, without his charms
his only goal, to be in her arms
he tries his hardest, although he'll fail
'tis a tragic story, it is his tale

2004-04-09T18:16:00.000-07:00

Casey
Wednesday, April 7, 2004

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl:

Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

She who's winsome, she wins him
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that girl:

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl

2004-04-07T21:49:00.000-07:00

Ty
Monday, March 5, 2004

excerpt from original post:

At this point, the author wishes to respond to the sharpening situation between himself and Rubios, the Baja Mexican eatery establishment.

Alright, guys. Seriously. Why is it so hard to interpret the name 'Ty'? Everytime I walk in, order my food and give my name, my receipt always comes back to me with some stupid name at the top, completely different from what I originally said in the first place. You could avoid this problem altogether if you'd just give people numbers instead of taking their names, but whatever you want. It's your business, not my own. All I know, is that generally when my receipt comes out as 'Todd', I subconsciously feel as though my real name, 'Ty', is just not good enough for you. Additionally, the other day, when my receipt came back as 'Tail', I just felt like an idiot. The guy taking my order just brought my food out to me instead of saying my name over the speaker, assuming that he must be doing me a favor and sparing me the embarassment of being addressed by my shitty name of 'Tail'.

What kind of things would Tail be doing on prom night?

I've narrowed it down to either spending hours looking for a cool ringtone for his phone or talking to his cat about how he was too good to go to prom anyway. Together, Tail and his feline counterpart could reach new leagues of being pathetic.

I just don't want to be Tail.

Infact, you might even say that I strive to be the anti-Tail.

What do I get out of this? I don't know. I suppose this is yet to be determined. It'll be something good though. Something real good. Whatever's left I'll leave for you.

2004-04-05T12:07:00.000-07:00

Okay peeps, this is one of my favorites written by...well, yours-truly! You'll hate this Justin! :)

Thursday, April 1, 2004

Happy April fools day everyone! This is perhaps my favorite holiday, or just day according to the cast of Couch Potato, but who cares, they're all underclassmen....yeah, I said it :).

Anyway, My first prank backfired completely when the most important people (the cast) FORGOT the plan. Idiots :). But my next prank is in full effect as of right now.

As I type, Justin is upset and in search of his beloved hat. Little does he know that, I, The Prankmaster Ebony, has taken the beloved hat and given it to a new party, Ms. Karin Dennis.
Now, during AC lab today, Mr Hawn left his hat carelessly on his bag. Since he had occupied himself with music, I decided to steal the hat and hide it. Phase one was complete.
Then, the fire alarm rang. I took the hat with me, originally planning to wear the hat near Mr. Hawn, for him to spot it and be upset having been fooled.
But, a better opportunity arose after spotting Ms. Dennis. I quickly gave the beloved hat to Ms. Dennis to give back to Mr. Hawn at lunch. Completely satisfied with the success of my plan so far, I headed back to class.
When Mr. Hawn realized the hat was missing, I played my part perfectly as I (for once) kept a straight face when saying, "No, I haven't seen it.".

I have to say, I'm proud of my self. Being juvenile is fun! :)...Maybe later I'll tell you if my gum-laced-with-laundry-powder will work. :)...Later Days!

Update: The gum-laced-with-laudry-powder joke went according to plan, by grossing the guy out and not killing him :)

2004-04-04T16:30:00.000-07:00

TODAY IS LAUREN DAY!!! some people are extremely decieving. Laur is Hannah's best friend, just to give you some slight idea of who this person is.

Laur
Thursday, March 18, 2004

excerpt from original post:

' If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did." '

ouch.

Monday, March 15, 2004

One of these days I'm going to wake up a morning person. Run for cover.

Wednesday, Febuary 28, 2004

excerpt from original post:

Watches are odly fascinating.. and morbid. each second my cute snoopy watch ticks away is a moment in my life I've lost. I don't know what to say about that.. it's terrifying. It's terrifying to know that I could die at any possible second. and if I died right now.. my watch would just keep on ticking.

my world stops. but the rest of the universe keeps on going.

Saturday, February 7, 2004

So today I saw this picture of Jessica Simpson and I thought to myself, "Wow. Her smile's kinda scary." And then I thought, "Smiles are freaky period." I mean, animals usually bear their teeth to scare things away. We bear our teeth to show happiness? That's kinda weird.

Lets create the newer, less freakish smile. Or you know, we could just grow up and become adults who never smile. That might work too.

2004-04-01T10:22:00.000-08:00

Megan
Tuesday, March 30, 2004

excerpt from original post:

...A couple of days ago we were all in English. My friend nang decides to be more stupid than usual and puts my small purse around her neck.
Me- Nang what the hell are you doing?!!"

Nang- "Isn't it pretty?"

Me- "I hope you hang yourself" says it w/a serious face.

Nang- Promptly takes off my purse and put it back on my desk. Might have called me a bitch under her breath.

Nejra- "THATS SO MEAN." gives me a sad look like I wasnt supposed to say anything.

Me- Thinking "Fucktard."

Was that really so mean? If you know that you are going do anything stupid be PREPARED for any smartassed comment!!...

2004-03-31T19:58:00.000-08:00

George
Thursday, March 18, 2004

todays entry is about fun u can have with ur dictionary! besides the wonderful fun it already offers, u can have a good time with this simple game. first, u need a dictionary. then, u need a friend (if u want to impress em, its cool to have a friend of the opposite sex) to hang out with u. and finally, u need a dirty mind. if u dont have one already, u can talk to me for a while, and ull get there. its an acquired gift, but it can be taught! i give lessons late at night, and it helps if u breathe heavily. i only teach women, by the way. ANYWHO! first, pick a letter. come on, guys, theres only 26. then, go to that letter in the dicitionary. its best to avoid the letters "z" and "x", but that doesnt mean they aren't good letters. finally, go through that section and pick out words that sound dirty, but aren't. this is where the fun with the opposite sex comes in, because u should be able to use the word in a sentence with a sexy voice. take the letter "q" for instance. lets see.... the word "quag". quag means a marsh or bog. however, in my game, u would say "hey baby, would u like to see my quag?" see, right there, hours of endless fun! ull laugh urself giddy. lemme kno if u come up with any good words, and ill start to make a list. well call this game... DIRTY DICTIONARY! so, boys and especially girls, play Dirty Dictionary (copyrighted, trademarked, restricted, do not use while operating heavy machinary, may cause hunger) and let me how it turns out. itll be awesome! and remember, im always available for dirty mind lessons for girls.

Gurg
Thursday, March 25, 2004

House in shambles. Computer unplugged. Blog posting uncertain.

I'll find a way to hitchhike my way on the superhighway...somehow.

Now where did I put that blond wig and fishnet stockings?

Hey, they still fit. Sweet.

Trevor
Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Just tell the people who read your blog that you haven't been writing about what's happening to you because you were too busy getting stoned.
They'll understand.

2004-03-30T10:42:00.000-08:00

Craig
Satuday,March 10, 2004

Today I was driving with my windows down because it was nice out. I was at a stop light when I hear "Hey..." I turned and there was a couple in their 40s. They then said, "How old are you?" I replied, "16." They said, "You don't look old enough to drive." I said, "Ok" and rolled up my window. How do you respond to that?

Jaclyn
Friday, March 26, 2004

I think it's a symptom of not wanting to leave. I'm trying to bring back the past when, in reality, it's all for nothin. Oh well. Here's to the night. The day, the ice cream, the fight, the other fight, the dance, the last night, the goodbye, and the aftermath.

Yay for utter vagueness.

DC
Monday, March 22, 2004

We knew it had to happen sometime
so on the night when everyone in every bar in New York City
stepped out to have a smoke
or make a phone call
or both
all at once
we were ready.

We dressed up
smelled fantastic
for no one but each other
though you forwent high heels for hi-tops
at my suggestion
so we could bolt from nightspot
to vacant nightspot
before the city collectively stubbed out its cigarette in a planter
said “Goodbye” to whoever was on the other end
and stepped back inside

as we sprinted through the crowd we saw
bartenders sitting on stoops, resting their feet
and bouncers occupied by flirting
so we settled on a place
where on any given night we couldn’t afford to stay long

I poured us drinks
using only top shelf ingredients
shook down the tipjar for jukebox change

You put on something obscure and soulful
I helped you up
and we slow-danced on the bar
The concentric circles of our swaying feet dodging half empty beers
without us having to tell them to

The song ended,
we slipped out the back way
and mounted the fire escape:
Five flights in twenty minutes
(we kept stopping to look in people’s windows
and kiss)
and, on the roof, as we surveyed the forest of chimneys and water towers
we simultaneously wished aloud
that we were able to leap from rooftop to rooftop
super-hero style

until you proved
in a moonlit arc that shamed gravity

that we could.

Justin
Monday, Feburary 23, 2004

excerpt from original post:
On to my major topic..... EXPLOITED CHILDREN!!!

Perhaps this picture looks familiar? It should! Once America's favorite TV show, Full House has been moved to day-time crap-o-vision. It's lack of violence, and Danny Tanner's (Bob Saggat) gay-esque outlook on raising children has raised a few eyebrows. The only way to clear up the question of Danny being gay was to get the Greasy dude married, and the funny prick to leave. Aside from the gayness, all those actors were children actors. All exploited for their uncanny humor, and overall "crowd value". Children are used for EVERYTHING. From Sex (Michael Jackson.... Gross stuff, I can't believe this is on my Xanga) to commercials (Welches anyone?). I think the most exploited children are indeed those Welches Grape Juice kids. Their parents raise them to drink juice. A childs dream leads to 9 year old running lines of Cocain, hosting keggers, and forming a syndicate of drug cartels. One good example of children that end up screwed in the end would be Macully Caulken (or however you spell that Doobie Smokers name). He has the world in his hands, then he turns 18 and fell onto the downscale Hollywood crap train. Poparazzi following his every drunken step. All those gay teen moments with his brother.... To many pictures to post here....

Ty
Sunday, March 7, 2004

excerpt from original post

There is plenty of this though. Plenty of me sitting on the bench with downtime.

And playing with my phone. Matter of fact, today was annual, ‘I-don’t-care-if-you-pay-for-my-phone-bill-dad-I’m-still-going-to-buy-stupid-games-and-download-worthless-shit-for-money-all-the-time-with-my-phone’ day, and the results were purely stellar. I ended up downloading an enticing Garfield bowling game, a crazy game where you make Mickey Mouse wash windows for god knows why and most important of all, I spent $2.99 on a virtual pet download. Why? Well, it’s not my money, so why not? Virtual pets are so ridiculous, I swear to Christ. Does anyone remember these things? Around the time they became huge, I literally implored my mother that my soul and spirits would completely diminish and dissolve if I couldn’t have one. So I got this shitty store brand one of a dog, where you wear it as a watch. I’d always look down after awhile and the thing would have a million problems with it; it’d be hungry and go to the bathroom all over itself so I got tired of it fast. I looked at it more like being married or a commitment I was too young to devote my heart to, so instead, I let Poochie die. And I don’t feel sorry about it either. Anyway, this new thing I just wasted Pop’s money on is this fox/dog thing that loves to use row boats and play football. You can tickle him, or slap him, or commit plenty other acts of virtual animal abuse upon. I did both. First I tickled him, because lets face it, I can be a nice guy on most occasions. The system then told me that my pet liked it so much that he was going to give me money.

Hold up.

What am I, you’re tickle slut?

Hell nah.

I’m worth more than this.

I decided it was due time to move the clicker over the slap button, so I did promptly. As soon as I slapped the fox/dog thing, the system said, “Your pet says: Buy me a wooden bed!” At this point I was just so frustrated with my pet that I turned off my phone. We’re in the middle of a fight, and you’re going to ask me to buy you things? I don’t know what kind of games you’re playing fox/dog thing, but you’re not winning.

This was not the most important part of my day, I promise...